


[The Elder Scrolls Reading Club: Week 13] - The King

by SaltyMapleSyrup



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bad Ending, Cannibalism, Dark, Diary/Journal, F/F, Fantasy, Feels, Fire, Gen, Hallucinations, Letters, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 13:02:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyMapleSyrup/pseuds/SaltyMapleSyrup
Summary: The last chapter of Saya's story.(With a slight hint of sequel bait)





	[The Elder Scrolls Reading Club: Week 13] - The King

* * *

 

**_31st of Evening Star, 4E205_ **

 

* * *

 

_This is a letter._

_A letter, a confession, and an apology._

 

_My name is Saya Indoril. My father was a Nord of Reach, and my mother was a Dunmer of Mournhold. I was born 117 years ago in Blacklight, and I have moved to Skyrim four years ago._

 

_I am thane to Whiterun, Markarth, Falkreath and Solitude. I am a legate in the Imperial Legion. I am the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood. I am the Champion of Hermaeus Mora, Boethiah, Mephala, Azura, Molag Bal, and the unwilling Champion of Namira. I am a member of the Dawnguard who has rid Skyrim of the Volkihar Clan, and the traveler who freed Solstheim of Miraak’s clutches._

 

_But most importantly, I am the Dragonborn, the killer of_

_Alduin the World-Eater,_

_Emperor Titus Mede II,_

_Councilor Amaund Motierre,_

_Jarl Ulfric Stormcloak,_

_Paarthurnax,_

_the last Blades,_

 

_And the murderer of my wife and children._

  


* * *

  


_Four years ago, after the defeat of Alduin, I have been recruited into the organization known as the Dark Brotherhood. I have done my work, and I have done it well. Eventually, the Night Mother herself had appointed me Listener - the de-facto leader of the Brotherhood._

_My contract was to kill the Emperor of Tamriel, Titus Mede the Second, and the contractor was Amaund Motierre, one of the members of the Elder Council. I have assassinated both of these people, and after a year of working, I have resigned from my position in favor of a more peaceful life._

 

_On the 10th of Sun’s Dusk, 4E202, I have proposed to a long-time companion of mine, Serana. After that, rumors of my disappearance have began to spread. They are untrue, I am afraid - I have been living in a house I have built in the Falkreath Hold. I have also travelled around the province many a times, unrecognized simply because I wore a more casual attire._

_After another year, I have also decided to adopt two children. Their names were Sofie and Lucia, of Windhelm and Whiterun respectively. The two sweethearts have quickly taken onto calling me “mother”, and I have trained them and taught them to the best of my ability. They were my pride and joy._

_My wife, Serana, wholeheartedly approved. She was a vampire - the daughter and last remaining member of the Volkihar Clan. As such, her family matters were… complicated, to say the least. She was, in fact, the instigator - it was her desire to give the sweethearts a proper childhood that pushed me to adoption._

 

_For years, she had been my support and moral compass._

_I am not infallible, unlike what most people believe. I have come across many hardships that I thought to be impossible. There have been many times where I wanted to give up. It was her who pushed me to keep going._

 

 

* * *

  


_On the 23rd of Evening Star, 4E205, on my birthday, I have lost them._

 

_The day before, in Whiterun, I was approached by a man clad in full ebony armor. His face was covered by a black helmet, and one of his gauntlets appeared to fully mimic the shape of his hand rather than the usual design._

 

_He introduced himself as “The Ebony Warrior” and challenged me to kill him. His challenge was brought forth by desperation - according to himself, the man had already done everything that there was to be done. And so, his last goal was to die in battle to someone worthy of killing him, so that he could go to Sovngarde._

_Accepting that challenge is the biggest regret I harbor, to this day._

_I have found him at the Last Vigil - a spot in the Velothi Mountains that he had marked on my map. There, he waited for me._

_Having donned my equipment for the first time in two winters, I have arrived with Serana to grant him his wish._

 

_Today, I can’t help but ask - how could I have been so foolish?_

  


* * *

  


It was snowing.

 

My eyes were blurry from the pain, but I could still make out the shapes and silhouettes. The sharp clanging of metal upon metal was stinging my ears, but I could not muster up the strength to cover them. I could barely comprehend why I heard them at all.

That is, until I blinked and my vision cleared. And I saw Serana, clad in the armor made of dragonscale that I have crafted for her yesterday. It was scratched, torn, covered in frost, and leaking dark crimson from her side. In her hands was Harkon’s blade, which she had taken for herself as a memento. The sword had already snapped in half, but she kept desperately parrying with the guard in hopes of landing a lucky blow when an opening came.

She was defending against the Ebony Warrior. His shield has been broken and abandoned, so now he had resorted to grasping his black longsword with both hands, landing blow after blow on her shaking form.

 

She had been bleeding badly. How did this happen?

 

It hurt when I tried to move either of my arms. I wondered why, at first, before I had mustered up the energy to lift my head and look. My left arm was broken in multiple spots, bent awkwardly in the snow. The right arm had been pinned to the ground with my own blade, and the shoulder was probably dislocated.

I wanted to laugh. I felt mocked by the fact I’m still alive.

 

A scream pierced my ears and the unconsciousness was beginning to fade away from my mind. My right arm was burning. My left arm felt like a knapsack of boulders tugging on my nerve endings, so very close to tearing them off, yet teetering on the brink, sending just the right amount of agony through my brain with every pump of blood.

I coughed and winced as the same piercing feeling came from my chest. It hurt to breathe - probably broke a rib or two. The Ebony Warrior must have heard me, and a familiar sound of a blade unsheathing reached me. When my eyes had turned to look at him, I had realized my mistake when Serana fell to the ground, a gash in her chest.

Not a sheath. It was scratching against her armor.

 

“You're conscious? Good.”

 

His voice was low. There wasn't any malice in it. Only a vague note of disappointment.

His footsteps were loud because of his armor. It kept clinking against itself. I felt a heavy hand tug on my helmet before taking it off, and then cold snow fell on the back of my neck. I'd have shivered, but if breathing alone was painful then the shiver tore a pathetic groan out of my lungs.

Everything hurt.

 

“When I had sought you out, Dragonborn, I was looking for an honorable death. Did you know that?”

 

My eyes, no longer obscured by the helmet, could see him. He walked over to Serana as he talked. Dragged her over to me. I wanted to reach out, to hold her close, to console her - she looked like she was in so much pain. But I couldn't.

Frustrated tears felt hotter on my cheeks compared to those of pain.

 

“But you… you had treated me like every other opponent I had come across. As just another challenger. An obstacle to overcome.”

 

With a dull thud and a hiss of pain from Serana, he dropped her onto the ground. She was lying on her side, and her eyes were fixated on me. They were blue, both figuratively and literally. Gentle. Soothing. Just like her words that I could barely hear over the voice of the Ebony Warrior.

You're in so much pain, dummy. Why are you calming _me_ down?

 

“You're not taking me seriously. You're not desperate. You're not giving it your all. Please believe me when I say I didn't want to do this.”

 

I heard the sound of a blade unsheathed. Serana’s lips were stretched into a smile, and I felt her hand on my shoulder. It felt warm.

 

“You don't hate me.”

 

The warmth was gone. A disgusting wet noise reached my ear and my eyes closed in reflex. I felt wind tickling my wet cheek.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Serana. Her blue eyes were shining in the clearing night sky. In the moonlight her skin looked pale, but her lips were red and stretched into a gentle, comforting smile. Her black hair was sprawled in the snow.

The snow was red.

 

“I'll give you a reason to.”

 

Red with the blood flowing from her severed neck.

  


* * *

  


_I killed him._

 

_I tore my sword out of the ground with the arm that Serana had healed. Pulled it out of my hand with my teeth._

_I shouted so loud I started coughing blood. And when my body began burning… I couldn't remember a thing. It was as if I lost consciousness, but only for a single moment. As if a fragment of time was just… removed from my vision._

 

_When I “awoke”, he was dead on the ground. Mutilated._

_In my left arm, which had somehow healed, was his heart. I didn't realize how could it be that my wounds were gone. Not until I saw teeth marks on the heart I was holding._

 

_And Serana… she was dead. Beheaded. Still smiling, still…_

_I don't know how long I have cried before I called Odahviing and brought her body to Skuldafn for a proper burial. I dared not enter the portal to Sovngarde. I couldn’t bring myself to try and meet her._

_Not like this._

 

_Serana, I'm sorry. For everything._

 

 

* * *

  


My head hurt. My eyes were watering. My ears were ringing. At this point I already knew this was a nightmare. I've had them every day.

But I just couldn't wake up.

 

“Mommy?”

 

I heard a voice call for me from the dark. I got up. Or was it down? In complete darkness, I couldn't tell up from down. It was worse than sinking in Apocrypha’s black seas.

It was Sofie. It was almost like she wasn't affected by the dark at all - there wasn't even the smallest hint of a shade on her. Stumbling, I walked over and hugged her.

 

“What's wrong, dear? Can't sleep?” I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking. She clutched her night dress and murmured.

“I heard crying… is everything okay?”

 

And when she said that, I heard it too. The crying. It was quiet, muffled even. Like someone was not even capable of crying loudly because they couldn't breathe through the hiccups.

 

“It sounds like Lucia. Do you want to find her?”

Sofie nodded, sniffling as well. “She sounds scared. Is she okay? Where is she?”

 

I smiled and stood on my knee, hugging her closer and rubbing her back. She sounded so scared. She was even trembling - I just couldn't see it, but I could definitely feel it now.

 

“Hush, honey. We'll find her. Won't we?”

Hiccuping through the tears, she nodded. “B-but what if there are monsters?”

I smiled. “Well, then I'll protect you, of course. Both of you.”

 

Then, I leaned close to her, the muffled crying getting somewhat louder. She tilted her head slightly, and I snickered to myself. She knew what I was doing. So, just like Serana used to, I touched her neck with my lips, leaving a small peck on her tender skin.

And then, I tasted blood in my mouth, and the crying got louder. I blinked.

The darkness was gone. I was in my room. In my hands, I was holding a crying, terrified Sofie who was looking at me wide-eyed. In her neck, a chunk of flesh was missing, and she was bleeding profusely. On the floor next to her was Lucia, with the same terrified expression. But she was no longer breathing.

 

_...no. Again…?_

 

I screamed and stumbled, falling on my back. What have I done? What happened?

Sofie looked at me, touching her neck. Her expression was one of shock, of fear. But most importantly, one of confusion.

 

“Ma…?”

 

A wheezing sound came out as she tried to speak, and I froze up. She hobbled, her hand reaching out to me, but two steps later she had collapsed. Panicking, I jumped up and ran towards her.

The white fabric of her dress was red. She was no longer crying. She was no longer trembling.

She was no longer breathing.

On my ring finger was a sallow ring, dimly glowing red.

 

 

* * *

  


_When I came to, both of them were dead. On my hand was a ring that I had tossed into the sea years ago._

_I should've known. I should have known that those damned demons don't leave anyone alone. And I still did what I did, reveling in my defiance like a rebellious teenager._

 

_Sofie, Lucia… I'm so, so sorry._

 

_I hope that wherever you are, you live a happ_

 

 

* * *

  


“...shit.”

 

Saya cursed under her breath as the coal stick snapped in her fingers and smeared on the journal's page. Sighing, she threw it away and held the journal in her hand, flipping through the pages.

 

_Why did I even write this?_

 

She smiled at the fond memories, unearthed from the forgetfulness of her mind by the writing. The happy ones and the sad ones. The detailed descriptions and the sassy insults. Her messy, fast handwriting sometimes accented by Serana’s beautiful, flowing notes. The sketches of the two kids, illustrating her adventures.

She moved her eyes from the parchment. Before her was the cliff next to the manor. Right under it were two gravestones, chiseled clumsily from two boulders.

Saya donned her hood, sighing and muttering a quiet “Goodbye” to each stone. Her armor, still torn and full of holes and gashes, creaked obnoxiously as the scales bent when she leaned to carefully kiss the names inscribed on the granite.

 

Birds chirped carelessly, looking at the door in momentary curiosity when the half elf entered her house. In her hand was a bottle of wine. She took a sip, looking at the empty rooms and halls. All the treasures and memories.

In the small house that serves now as an entrance, she sat down. After another hearty gulp, she took the bottle and poured its contents down onto the carpet, humming as a line of wine followed her footsteps outside.

When the last drop splattered on the ground, Saya stopped to look back at the open doors. On the porch laid a small ring wrapped in paper. She whispered, and her whisper became a small flame. With that spark, the alcohol lit up, and set the house ablaze. Minutes later, all of it was burning down - supports were collapsing, the roof fell through in some spots, and black smoke filled the air.

She watched it burn, and in the flames she saw herself. By her side was Serana. Standing before then were two wide-eyed girls, brought into a foreign home.

 

And then, all of them vanished, and only the vampire remained. She looked up, and her eyes met the crimson eyes of the half elf.

 

“I miss you”, Saya said, wiping away a stray tear.

The apparition smiled warmly as the flames consumed the home behind her. “I know.”

 

Saya nodded, and from her pocket she pulled out a simple book. On its cover was scribbled: _“_ _My Journal_ _”._ The writing turned black when she tossed it into the flames, and the pages curled up one by one, blackening from the edges. She heard a giggle.

 

“I love you.” Serana said.

 

Saya smiled.

 

“I know.”

She said, and when she turned around,

the sound of her footsteps drowned in the crackling of a flame.

**Author's Note:**

> So, Saya's TESRC story is at an end. This has been a very difficult chapter to make because I needed to include a lot of information without it seeming forced, which was, of course, problematic at the very least.
> 
> However, this doesn't mean that Saya's journey is over yet. Currently, a mod for Skyrim called Apotheosis is in the works, said to release this year. Whenever that happens, I plan on continuing this story to, perhaps, a happier ending.
> 
> That aside, however, I would like to mention the fact that I am currently using Saya as a character in Skyrim-themed roleplay with a group of friends, centered around the concept of trying to save the world without a Dragonborn through the power of jolly cooperation and plot point manipulation. If that is at all interesting, I suggest you comment so I can see if I should spend time into turning that roleplay into a story, whenever I have the time and material.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
